Week 9 Predictions

Hey everyone, I’ve had a hectic week and am about to leave town for the weekend so instead of my usual 3000 word+ column, I’m going to move right into this week’s predictions after bragging about going 10-3 last week (that’s right..10 AND 3) bringing me to 78-38 for the year.

Buffalo Bills vs. New York Jets

The Bills looked amazing last week, sadly it was because they were playing my terrible Redskins. The Jets need this win to even everyone up in the AFC East and should get it here.

Winner: New York Jets by 7.

Dallas Cowboys vs. Seattle Seahawks

The Sea Chickens are limping into Dallas, why thanks, you shouldn’t have.

Winner: Dallas by 10.

Houston Texans vs. Cleveland Browns

The Browns are absolutely terrible. Even Indy could squeak out a win at this point. Wait, I won’t go that far.

Winner: Houston by 14.

Indianapolis Colts vs. Atlanta Falcons

I can’t stand the Dirty Birds and still find them quite fraudulent overall. They’ll eek into a win here and do just enough to win on the back of Michael Turner.

Winner: Atlanta by 3.

Kansas City Chiefs vs. Miami Dolphins

The smoke and mirrors that KC is “back” will be on full display as they win by 7 this week. The win over the Chargers was an anomaly caused by a Norv Turner team playing on Halloween. Scary things were bound to happen. Norv really has the uncanny ability to be caught up in the most ridiculous losing scenarios. Only Norv’s team could drop the snap on what would have been the winning drive, give the ball to the other team, and lose in overtime. I don’t think the Chiefs are “back”, but good for them in not giving up and beating two bottom feeders and an overrated Chargers team.

Winner: Kansas City by 7.

New Orleans Saints vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

New Orleans needs that bounce badly right now. Losing to St. Louis is like being told to eat a ketchup popsicle. There is no redeeming quality in it whatsoever.

Winner: New Orleans by 10.

Washington Redskins vs. San Francisco 49ers

Is this the week Harbaugh strips his clothes off and streaks after a 49ers win? No, that’s reserved for the week the 49ers win the NFC West. I will still be rooting for the Redskins to pull of the victory but this is strictly business.

Winner: San Francisco by 14.

Oakland Raiders vs. Denver Broncos

If the Raiders come off the bye and lose at home to the Broncos, you can stick a fork in them.  Denver has been poor this year especially in the last couple games and they have no chance here. However, without McFadden, the score tightens up a bit. I don’t think Tebow can beat any team not the Dolphins or Colts.

Winner: Oakland by 3.

Tennessee Titans vs. Cincinnati Bengals

So starts the skid for the Bungles. Cincy is this year’s, wait for it…..it’s coming….hold on…..sexy team. Their defense is much improved but they still have four games combined against Pittsburgh and Baltimore looming on the horizon like a date with a firing squad. The sexyness will disappear within two weeks.

Winner: Tennessee by 3.

Arizona Cardinals vs. St. Louis Rams

You know, I’m going with the Goats here. If they can beat New Orleans, they can beat Arizona. That and Kolb is out with turf toe and we could be seeing Max Hall or John Skelton under center for the Cardinals. I’d take AJ Feely any day of the week over those guys.

Winner: St. Louis by 3.

New England Patriots vs. New York Giants

Ladies and gentlemen, this week’s upset special is brought to you by the Eli Manning Face…

Eli has quietly been having his best year in the NFL with a bunch of no-name receivers. New England’s defense is godawful and I never thought I’d say this but the Steelers laid the blueprint to beat the Pats every game for the rest of the season. Harass Tom Brady, throw passes of 8 yards or more, and watch the points go on the board. Also, New England does not need this win. Right now, they are tied with Buffalo at 5 – 2. Their upcoming schedule looks like this: at Jets, KC, at Philly, Colts, at Redskins, at Broncos, Miami, and Beefalo. Realistically, they will at least go 5-3 or 6-2 on this stretch. That should be enough to win the AFC East. Now, looking at the Giants, they have the most brutal stretch in the NFL: at San Fran, Philly, at New Orleans, Green Bay, at Dallas, Washington, at Jets, Dallas. The Giants need this win to start the stretch because if the skid starts, it’ll skid hard.

Winner: New York Giants by 2.

San Diego Chargers vs. Green Bay Packers

Packers by 14. After the Kansas City whoopsee, no recovery in sight for the Bolts.

Winner: Green Bay by 14.

Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Baltimore Ravens

Baltimore’s passing offense is pitiful and the momentum of the Patriots win coupled with the beatdown they received in week one at the hands of the Ravens motivates them to an impressive victory.

Winner: Pittsburgh by 5.

Philadelphia Eagles vs. Chicago Bears

This has all the makings of a trap game for Philly. They’ve underperformed all year until last week’s beating of the Cowboys. Also, Every time I write off the Bears, they come out and shock me. I won’t let it happen this time. I’m probably going to cause a reverse jinx but Bears by 10. Why you ask? Well, I think the Bears ride Forte and grind the clock and as the Eagles are forced to stack the box, Cutler throws the ball. Plus, Philly is a west coast, short pass type team. The Bears have looked really good defensively in wins over Tampa Bay and Atlanta who employ similar offenses. This is probably the game I get wrong this week but by gosh I’m sticking to it.

Winner: Chicago Bears by 10.

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  1. Julie Emerson
    November 11, 2011

    You mean you posted something AFTER the game started? All invalid. 😉

  2. November 11, 2011

    I actually wrote it Thursday but forgot to post it on my blog. I emailed it out around 2pm yesterday. So HA!

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